Tuesday, July 29, 2003

so does anyone have suggestions for the triplets (that would be my three abscesses)? i'm taking suggestions.

Monday, July 28, 2003

so i'm now working with abscess number 3. i discovered it just before my flight out of sf, which made me seriously reconsider my return. however, i am here, with an obviously insanely shot immune system (who develops an infection while on antibiotics??).
i taught my first full day today, which served to exhaust me further. the day was brightened considerably, however, by a care package from my lovely friend allison.
word on the street is a tropical storm is moving in to la. i can't wait!

Saturday, July 26, 2003

you know things are bad when your email is down for the entire weekend and you couldn't give two shits.

Friday, July 25, 2003

Today I broke up a fist fight between two fifth-grade boys. I literally had to grab one by his body as they swung at each other. I guess this is my life now.
My flight leaves for SF at 7:00. I couldn't sleep last night, for the excitement.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Let me put it to you this way: Abcess #1 was funny. Abcess #2 is nothing short of upsetting and horrible.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

i have to say, i'm in a pretty good mood tonight. i got home from school yesterday and was as exhausted as i can remember being since i've been here. i lied down, promising myself to sleep for only an hour, but awoke 3 hours later at 8:00 at night, having missed dinner and a workshop i should have been to. but you know, i don't care. it's gotten like that. today i feel so much better, having slept only 5 hours again last night, that i am amazed what rest can do for a lady.
so, while i'm in this great mood, i'll tell you some of the great things about being here (because despite all my moaning, there is some fun to be had).
1. the people i've met. i feel as if i've known them for 10 years, though it's only been 2.5 weeks. they keep me sane.
2. the kids. despite all of their behavior issues, when i see something click with them, it's great. today, one of our biggest behavior issue kids stayed on green (stoplight-type behavior plan that allows them to visually see where they are during the day) until the last 10 mintues of school. it was pretty disappointing that he didn't make it the whole day, but regardless, i am going to call his mom tonight to praise his behavior the rest of the day.
3. the joy of fridays has never been so immense.
4. i get to go home this weekend and i am so grateful and excited to be back in the bay with my boy and my belle.

keep the good thoughts coming my way. chins up over here.

Monday, July 21, 2003

i am here, but barely. this level of exhaustion, this level of immersion, this level of- let's face it- joining what could certainly be considered a cult-like experience, is wearing me pretty thin. everyone around here is suffering from some pretty serious illnesses, which i imagine we are all especially susceptible to because of the lack of sleep, vitamins, human touch, etc. let's just say i'm not the only one with an abcess.
i will say, however, i really enjoy being with the kids. which i wasn't sure of. and even though there are moments that they drive me literally insane, that is not the hard part for me. which is good news, since that is all i'll be doing next year.
alright, i'm off to get some shut-eye round here.

Saturday, July 19, 2003

well, i just got back from taking the cset. i know i failed the math/ science section, which actually means i can't teach next year. it's very distressing. but i have to wait for the results (august 18th) and then when i find out i didn't pass, hustle my ass to get some sort of job. it sucks. i'm too exhausted & overwhelmed to really even think aobut it.

Sunday, July 13, 2003

this weekend was good in the fact that a) i slept and b) i got the BEST new teacher shoes. i can't find a picture of them online, but they are the "twin" campers shoes- one has a sketch of a cat and it says "cat" and one has a sketch of a dog and it says "dog". LOVE THEM!

Friday, July 11, 2003

something about LA always gets to me. tonight, it made me buy a pink casual matching velour sweatsuit. how can it do that to me? i don't own a single pink item (well, now i do).
i took myself out to sushi and was reminded of the night i first moved here, almost 10 years ago now. i took myself to sushi then as well, ate alone, and wondered what the fuck i was doing here. it was like a re-play of that movie tonight, me asking myself the same question. this time, however, i'm a bit older and not looking to escape anything, the way i was at 19. now i'm desparate to be home and the more time i spend away from it, the more and more convinced i am that san francisco is my home forever. i miss the fog, the interesting people, walking everywhere, social politics, the food, awareness, etc. most of all, i miss the lovely beau and the belle, who seem so far away from me right now.
i'm living in a complete bubble here that seems unescapable. i can't imagine people are just going on and having normal lives. i've been here 6 days and it honestly feels like 6 years. it's a bizarre time warp. i'm excited to actually get teaching on monday, get out of theory and into practice. that always feels more like me- i'm not much of a theory gal.
it's also weird that i am so close to this piece of my family's history. i am teaching at the elementary school my mom attended, driving down the road every day that took my great-grandmother's life before i got to meet her, thinking about this place in the 1950's and how my grandpa would have so enjoyed knowing that his family had made this weird circle. i miss him desparately at times, having been so excited to spend some time with him this summer, knowing he would have loved hearing everything i was doing and all of his 'old haunts' i was seeing for the first time. he would have told me stories about this area in the 40's and 50's, and we both would have loved those moments so truthfully. he always loved to tell stories of his life, and i know he would have some doozies for me now. alas, now i am just doing this family circle, and hoping he is seeing it in some way.
i'm off to soak the butt and go to sleep. tomorrow is another long day.

Thursday, July 10, 2003

well friends, remember yesterday when i was talking about bodily functions? there was one that i failed to mention, partially out of embarrasment, partially because i thought it was "nothing" that would go away on it's own. but after today, i must share with you my innermost personal problems and hope you still think of me the same.
all week, i've had a nasty little zit-like thing on my arse. i have been trying to ignore it- i've had the butt zit before- it's nothing i can't handle. but it's been getting progressively worse and sitting for 15 hours a day doesn't help. finally today, the pain became too much to bear. i had to leave my school (which is a huge no-no) and go to downtown la's finest emergency room (being that i have no doctor down here). let me tell you, this place was a nightmare. there was actually blood on the armrests of the chairs, people that had been waiting for more than 6 hours, many homeless folks, and oddly, the two women i talked to had both given up children for adoption after being teenage mothers in foster homes (no knocks to teenage mothers OR foster homes here, just an odd observation, probably in the wrong place). ANYHOO, after 5 hours of waiting, in which time i watched on tv the car chase that was occuring WITHIN BLOCKS OF OUR VERY LOCATION, i was finally seen by the doctor who diagnosed me with an ass abcess. it's ugly. i got pain killers & antibiotics & instructions to soak my lovely little booty in hot water 2-3 times per day for 1/2 hour each time. Did I mention before the exact length of time I have off every day? We have 7 hours every day between our last session at night and when we need to be up the next day. I don't know where or when I will soak this booty but I have a doctor's note that it must be attended to. I'm going to search this weekend for a big bowl in which i can do this, which i'm sure my roommate will appreciate witnessing on a daily basis (it really can't be done in the bathroom, as there is NO ventilation in there, and it is 85 degrees and we have no a/c, and and and!!!). please don't let people tell you teaching is an "easy" job. wish me and my booty luck on our further adventures...

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

only on day 2 here, and already this is the hardest thing i've ever done. i can't even believe it. i feel completely detached from my body- just work, work, work. i mean, i seriously have less than one hour to myself every day. it's total insanity. i'm constantly hungry, tired, thristy, have to pee, want to smoke, etc.- every bodily function is being completely ignored. am i insane? is this worth it? i don't even have time to consider this now. i'm terribly homesick today- i desparately want a reprieve from this insanity.

Monday, July 07, 2003

alrighty, then. i'm here at usc for what is already turning out to be a rather exhausting adventure. up at 5:45 a.m. every day, carted off to school (in an odd twist, i am student teaching at my mom's elementary school!) in a school bus and spend all day sitting and learning and then riding the school bus back to the dorms (dear god, why?), where we eat god-awful food. anyway, i guess that is enough complaining. i'm just exhausted and want to go to bed but have activities planned for me for the next 4 hours.
i had lots of funny bloggy-type observations on my god-awful 100 degree (w/o a/c) drive down here, but i'm just too tired to recount them now.
wish me luck.

Saturday, July 05, 2003

Ok, this is the funniest thing I've seen in quite awhile. Apparently it's all the rage with (freaky) pet owners.
Nicknames already used for Bella:
Hell's Bells
Miss Magoo

We've only had the pup three months- who knows how many nicknames she'll have over her whole life?

Thursday, July 03, 2003

We're back from Tahoe! Truly, I think, the highlight of the trip was teaching Bella to swim. She was cautious at first, but finally came along. We're all hot and tired and sleepy from the car ride now (as a matter of fact, the lovely beau and the doggie are both asleep). One thing has been decided on this trip: I am not moving out of the Bay Area, EVER! EVER! It's fucking hot in the rest of the world- quite frankly, too hot for me. I'm happy to be home, if only for a few days before departing on my summer adventure? job? nightmare?
We'll see, I guess.
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